So I guess google scrooged me. But I still love you G

January 11, 2008 · Filed Under Cheese Please

Google, you never call, or write, anymore
I’ve been pretty pissed at Google for a while now as this last year wasn’t all that great. I feel like the red-headed stepchild that they love to hate. Lets see…I believe my AdSense account was “smartpriced” so my earnings have been down. One of my sites was a PR5 for well over a year but was knocked down to PR0 out of the blue and they won’t answer my support email answering why, or how to fix it. My eCPM seems to have found the cosmic force known as gravity as it seems to always drop even when I get more traffic. My search rankings suck and my sites bounce around the SERPs like crazy even though I have some great content on them. Just blow after blow without any signs of relief.

But what I think disappointed me the most this year is they seem to have scrooged me on Christmas!

Last year, I was still pretty new to AdSense and I only earned a little bit in the last few months of the year. I didn’t earn enough to get the digital photo frame Google gave out to so many people for Christmas last year but I did get a nice Christmas card which let me know they at least knew my name.

This year, I made quite a bit more. Not “super affiliate” type earnings but more than I thought was the minimum amount needed to be considered worth of a gift. So I was excited thinking I would be getting the cool Google USB card drive that everyone else was getting and blogging about. I was sure I would finally get to see what it was like to be appreciated enough by Google to get a cool Christmas gift and couldn’t wait to blog about it and then show my non-web friends how much THE Google loved me.

I didn’t even get a card to hang on the wall this year. Thanks for ruining Christmas Google!

It was rubbed in even more over the last few weeks because I kept seeing everyone else blogging about all the great stuff all their various networks sent them. Matt Cutts even sent Tamar an awesome looking Google beanbag chair! Not fair Google! And I know you aren’t broke because I see my dwindling checks and know you are not paying me anything extra these days.

But I still love you and I still love schwag and will hope for something special this year that I can actually show off and be proud of.

Here comes Santa
It just so happens that there is a very cool piece of Google schwag that I have a chance of getting my grubby little hands on regardless of being left out of Google’s reindeer games. Not that Google would be so kind to send me but rather the very cheery and generous Dan Perry is holding a fun little contest giving away his awesome mini Google fridge. From what I understand, these are given to AdWords advertisers who spend a bundle so, if true, odds are I wouldn’t be able to get one of these cool mini fridges any other way.

How do I win it? To win, you…I mean, I, just have to write a post and submit it and if the judges think I worthy, I get a cool late xmas gift…you know, since Google doesn’t have time for all of us…

You can read more about how to enter, as well as see some great various schwag on the blog of one of the judges, Tamar Weinberg.

Writing to Santa
So, because I definitely want an awesome mini fridge with the Google logo on it to remind me of their cold heart come next xmas (I’m definitely not sending “G” shaped fudge pieces to them this year), I’ll share what I will be using it for and why I need it.

Mojo Stalking
Ever since I read the “Hairdoll Secrets: Entangling Success” ebook I have been working on my strategies and building my dolls. Of course, for those that read it, it states in “chapter 7: Hairdoll Maintenance”, that it is important to keep your hairdolls cool and dry to better preserve them. I think a mini Google fridge would work out perfect for that!

I can’t even remember where I bought it from (probably from Joel Comm, that guy will sell anything!), but it has changed my way of thinking. For those that have yet had the priveledge of reading it, the basic foundation is to succeed in any business it is important to build your very own hairdolls of those around you who are already successful, preferably with their own fallen locks. Obviously, this takes time but eventually you get a decent representation and if using authentic strands, the power can be amazing. I know what you are thinking but don’t worry, it isn’t some kind of creepy “voodoo magic”…those guys are sick in the head.

After reading the 349 page ebook you learn about capturing some of the successful persons mojo and binding it into your very own hairdoll to control and obtain complete dominance. I mean, I am already seeing postive results…ever since starting to make my hairdolls, my friends have been forfeiting poker nights and don’t even want to come over because they know they will lose. Just think of how it affects your competition who doesn’t have hairdolls, or who don’t take enough pride to get authentic A-list celeb hair! You will surely rank higher than someone if your hair doll is made out of real John Chow hair and theirs isn’t. Of course that is common sense but the ebook is packed with other great info and tips. Best ebook I have paid for yet and I have bought a lot of crappy ebooks! Honestly a steal at just $247!

So, to make sure all my hard work isn’t wasted, if I won, I would be using the cool mini fridge to help preserve my hairdolls. I could probably also keep a can or two of Dew chilled as well since there looks to be ample room even with the dolls in there.

I haven’t had time to collect the materials needed to make my Dan Perry hairdoll yet so not sure how well I will do in this contest but figured it was worth trying anyway and he is a genuinely nice guy so might as well throw him some link love (Matt, Dan did not pay for any links on this blog so don’t screw me over!).

But here are my 3 hairdolls I have started so you can get an idea of how well they work out.

Matt Cutts Hairdoll: